...for the airport (we will get picked up by Mum and Trev!)
1 - Stick a cushion up Jessie's shirt and pretend she's pregnant
2 - Wear some matching rings and pretend we got married
3 - Come back with a Thai Girl instead of Jessie
4 - Come back with a Thai Girl as well as Jessie
5 - Borrow someone's Newborn Baby to walk in with
6 - Arrive in Malay dress and pretend we have converted to Islam
7 - Find a wheelchair and pretend Jessie's been horribly crippled
8 - Tuck my arm inside my shirt and pretend I lost it in Vietnam
9 - Arrive in handcuffs and pretend I've been arrested for smuggling
10 - Bring back an army of children and pretended we've adopted them
11 - Only Jessie could turn up and pretend she lost me in Thailand
12 - Wear all of my clothes and pretend I got really fat
13 - Grow a very perculiar mustache - the horror!
14 - Get some enormous Henna tattoos and pretend they are real
15 - Come back in rags and claim we have lived this way for months
16 - Ring Mum's mobile at the airport and tell her that we have changed our mind about coming back
17 - I could come back in women's clothes and pretend I'm now a Ladyboy
18 - Say I photoshopped the pictures and that we have been living in England all this time
19 - Pretend that me and Jessie have been arguing for 6 months and that we refuse to speak to one another
20 - Send some friends back instead of us and pretend we have changed a lot
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